The Kurt Hummel Protection Agency
by Willow-Gravity
Summary: Kurt has a boyfriend, and now it's time for his Mckinley friends  and newly acquired brother  to step in and make sure he is protected  at all costs   Its super goofy and its somewhat a crackfic... but it has Klaine fluffiness, so that's a plus.
1. It Begins

So! This is my first post! :x Its a really goofy story, but im just being silly, i dont honestly think Finn is this spacey :p so no harm intended :D Also, so sorry if there is any misspellings or missed edits... life is crazy :o Who has time anyways. haha.

So, the disclaimer... I OBVIOUSLY dont own Glee... because if i did... it would be much much different :p Comments and Reviews much appriciated :D

so without any further ado... THE KHPA

.

.

.

.

"Dad!" Kurt's voice drifted through the relatively empty house, his tone half-hearted. "Dad, are you still here?"

"No. He's not" Finn's voice piped in, and Kurt turned to see his brother standing with his back against the suddenly closed door. He wore a classic crooked grin, which Kurt had seen often before. The younger boy slumped slightly and cocked his head.

"Finn? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why would you ask?" Finn replied, almost too quickly, as his eyes shifted to the left, then the right before he forced his smile wider. "I'm great." He added, stepping closer. "Better than great, actually." He added further as he rested a palm on the wall above Kurt's carefully sculpted hair. Kurt inhaled a deep breath, raised an eyebrow and slowly glanced up at his new brother.

"Finn? Are you sure you're okay?" Normally people couldn't make Kurt feel small, he had hit his growth spurt over the summer, and unfortunately he was taller than most of his peers now, including his new boyfriend, but Finn was the one person who was still bigger than the gangly teen.

"Of course, I'm more than fine. Definitely. For sure." Finn nodded once with every word he said, and when he was done he blinked a few times, the plastered smile disappearing for a second as the football player tried to decide if that seemed convincing. He furrowed his brow and forced the smile back on his face. "Cool." He added.

Kurt's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but his brain seemed to be filled with white noise. It was as if Finn's words had imploded his brain; maybe Finn really was a genius after all, and people needed to give him more credit. Kurt closed his mouth slowly then opened it again, feeling a lot like a fish.

"Shh…" Finn worded, his finger moving to press against Kurt's soft lips awkwardly. "Be careful, that's not a position that is safe to hold for very long…"

"Because of flies?" Kurt asked weakly, his eyes wide with shock, and confusion. Finn's smile widened and he forced an overly fake laugh.

"Oh, you silly boy. Why do you make this so hard for us?" Kurt cocked his head as he pulled his lips inside his mouth to avoid anymore contact with his brother's body parts. Finn's eyes widened and he backed away slowly, as if he had just revealed a secret that he had been hiding for a while.

"Never you mind…" Finn added, his eyes wide and shifty as he glanced over his shoulder and patted the younger boy's shoulder.

"Um, I didn't say anything though…" Kurt reminded his brother as he looked up into the face of poorly hidden paranoia.

"That's right; you just keep saying that…" Finn bit his lip and slowly backed out of the room, closing the door with a quiet snap, disappearing as suddenly as he had appeared. Kurt slumped his shoulders and shook his head, utterly bemused.

"What the hell have I gotten myself into…" the young singer crossed over to the window, resting his elbows on the sill and staring out into the slowly darkening sky. "At least it's a beautiful night." He mused, inhaling a deep breath of the crisp evening air and closing his eyes.

"You're damn right it is." Finn's voiced bellowed, as he slipped into place beside the startled teen. Kurt yelped and nearly jumped out of his skin. He stared to his left, where the beaming, wide grin stared back.

"Holy fuc-"

"Popcorn?" Finn interrupted shoving a bag towards the younger male, his smile never wavering.


	2. The Sexual Shark

"Uh huh?" "Yes, of course ma'am." "You too." "Alright, bye." Kurt let the smile he forced while on the phone with customers slip off his face, and his normal wistful expression return. He clicked the phone down on the receiver and scribbled a message for his father on the sticky notes he had brought in. He smiled down at the colorful pieces of paper. He thought they were a much needed improvement over the old, grease-stained napkins that the mechanics had been using. He scooped up the five notes that he had written throughout the course of the day and turned on his heel, gliding over to the message board that had previously been used for take-out menus. Kurt sighed and one-by-one arranged the new memos, careful to place them in the time slots that he had hand-written earlier that morning.

"Perfect" He mused as he backed away, viewing his organization skills in full affect. "This will definitely make things easier." He said with a nod. He strode back to the desk and glanced out over the sea of car parts, and men wearing grease-stained cover-alls. He sighed and blew a strand of his honey-hued hair out of his eyes before sitting down on the stool and glancing up at the clock. There was too much time, and too little to do at the shop for a boy like Kurt.

Even though he was slightly miserable when he had to take shifts at his father's shop, he liked the feeling he got when helping his father out; it made him feel less useless in his father's eyes. Kurt knew his father would never call Kurt useless, but he couldn't help but wonder if those words had ever played through his mind throughout the years.

He bit his lip and dropped his gaze to begin examining his fingernails, thoughts such as the ones he was having were best thought while busying yourself so you couldn't dwell on them _too_ completely.

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on, I can't speak…_

Kurt gasped and hopped off his stool as he dropped to his knees and fumbled with the zippers on his messenger bag. He never got calls at work, so he didn't even bother turning off his cell anymore. Of, course the one time it happens, and he has his bag with the innumerable amount of zippers and pockets.

"Oh god." He breathed as his thin, nimble fingers searched the confines of his messenger bag desperately. He could hear a couple of the workers chuckling at his ringtone choice, but he didn't care… it was the first song Blaine ever sang to him, and it was special. They could suck it.

He gasped as his fingertips brushed the cool metal of his iphone and he snatched it quickly, pulling it onto his opened palm and sliding the green bar over to answer the call. Too late. The call clicked off right as he was sliding the bar to the right. Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Of course." He muttered, as he straightened and rose to his feet.

"Hey, Lance Bass" A familiar voice teased with a quiet laugh. "Nice ring tone." Kurt's face flushed with color, his cheeks suddenly a rosy pink. He glanced up to see the face he expected to find, a smirking Noah Puckerman.

"What do you want, Puckerman?" He snapped, trying to hide the fact that he the older boy's teasing had gotten to him.

"Nothing much, just came to pick you up." He replied non-chalantly as he rested his elbows on the counter. Kurt furrowed his brow and shooed the boy's limbs off of his new workspace.

"No elbows on my desk, thank you very much." The younger teen stated with a narrowing of the eyes. He moved quickly and scurried around to the front of the desk, where he stood in front of the brick-wall of a man who had so often thrown him in the garbage. Puck raised an eyebrow and looked down at the wafer-like boy before him.

"Could you at least try to look like there's substance to you?" The bad-ass rocker mused as a fond smile toyed with his features. He reached for the thin shirt that clung to Kurt's new, lean figure tightly and showed off his maturing body. After his summer growth spurt, he found that he lost all of his baby fat, and he was slim and lean without even having to try. It was a nice surprise.

Kurt jumped back as Noah's hands slowly roamed across his chest and tried to slip around his back to pull him closer.

"Excuse you." He snapped, as his delicate features attempted to form an intimidating expression, but to no avail. "You are not permitted to touch." He added with a sharp nod of his head. He scooted back behind the desk to place a solid object between himself and the very sexual being that was exuding pheromones and attempting to catch Kurt's eye.

"What's wrong, Hummel? You scared you might like it?" He asked with a laugh, "Don't be ashamed, many have gone there, and although hesitant before hand, no one has ever complained."

Kurt's cheeks reddened an even deeper shade of crimson and he busied himself with the objects on his desk, and finding new places to put them. He inhaled a deep breath and closed his eyes as he heard shifting fabric and the sound of the football player moving closer. He was not in the mood to deal with this right now. He jumped when his cellphone chirped at him, informing him that he had received a text. He exhaled a deep sigh of relief. Now he had something to distract him from the shark approaching on the left.

His fingers slid across the smooth screen and he made his way to his inbox where he had nothing but saved texts from his dreamy boyfriend. He chewed on his bottom lip as the name: Blaine 3 3 came up on the screen. He opened the text and skimmed the text, once through it, he read it again, then once more, his heart sinking further into the soles of his shoes with every read-through.

Hey Babe, Cnt mke it tonight. Im swamped with hmewrk. All of my teachers loaded it on this weeknd. Srry. Can we go out tmro instd? XX OO—B

Kurt's face fell and he bit his lip, feeling his emotions welling up on him. It was silly, he knew, to be so upset over such a little thing. He would still get to see Blaine; it just wouldn't be until the next night. No big deal. But that was a lie, because it was a big deal. Kurt had been looking forward to their date all week, and now he had nothing to look forward to for the evening. He sighed and chewed at his bottom lip. He inhaled a deep breath and slipped on his brave face, he was used to wearing that mask.

N.P Babe, ill just catch up on Grey's anatomy. C u tmrw. 3 K.H

Kurt dropped his phone on the counter cringing slightly at the dull thud, but shrugging and looking up at the man who was still standing there staring.

"Are you still here?" He asked, trying to sound completely disinterested. Puck smirked and stepped closer.

"Ha. Ha. Very Funny, now are you coming or not?" The taller musician mused as he held out his hand for the small boy before him. Kurt considered taking his hand, but looked up instead. He shook his head and slipped his hands behind his back and laced his fingers through each other.

"Nuh, uh. Why would I go anywhere with you, Puckerman?" He asked with a hint of a smile. _Oh God, Kurt. Are you flirting with Puck?_ He asked himself with a tinge of disgust. He shook his head and dropped the smile. Puck remained unshaken and he raised an eyebrow.

"I can think of a couple reasons you would want to go with me…" He whispered, a hint of sensuality streaming through his words. He waggled his eyebrows at the blushing boy and edged closer. Kurt was mesmerized, he had to admit it, but then his phone chirped once more and the spell was broken. He scrambled for his phone and slid the bar across, a nervous smile on his face as he opened the message and read,

Ur mad.

Kurt sighed and read the two words over and over again before biting his lip, considering the best reply that didn't hurt his love's feelings, but still got his point across.

Not Mad. Disappointed.

Kurt sighed and leaned back against the counter, waiting for the reply. He glanced up to keep one eye on the sexual shark, who was smirking, undeterred. Kurt's phone buzzed, a welcomed escape from watching the mohawked maniac.

Im srry. SO. SO. Sorry. Frgve me? Id rther b w u anyways, u knw that.

Kurt couldn't help but smile. There was no way he could stay mad at that boy. He figured that would be a problem later on in their relationship if Blaine figured it out but for now he couldn't help but forgive him.

Of course I do, silly boy. Good Luck w hmewrk. 3 u

It only took a brief moment for the reply to chirp at Kurt. He looked down.

Ok. If ur sure. Love you too, forever and always. XX OO – B

Kurt shivered as his eyes skimmed across the words forever and always, and he sighed contented. He slipped his phone into his pocket and looked out into the workroom dreamily. He couldn't wait to see Blaine the next night… he was hoping they could take a step further into their relationship.

Puck cleared his throat and Kurt jumped, shaken out of his daydream.

"C'mon man, this is not fun if you ignore me the entire time."

"Hmh, sorry. Right. Okay." He looked over at Noah and cocked his head. "Where were we?" Puck sighed and rolled his eyes. He reached forward and wrapped his fingers around Kurt's thin, fragile wrist. He leaned down and scooped Kurt bag up in one arm and pulled him out of the garage. Kurt exclaimed in protest, but Puck continued to pull him out until they were in front of his car.

"You weren't joking about going with you, were you?"

"Does it look like I'm joking, Hummel?" Puck shook his head and opened the passenger door, before pushing the thin boy into the seat and dumping his bag into his lap. "Watch your fingers…" He warned before closing the door with a snap. Kurt shifted in the seats, thinking back to all the times the jock had bragged about the scores he had, and the younger boy couldn't help but think a couple of those must have happened here. It seemed like a Puck thing to do. He shivered and looked down at the seats. At least these weren't his nicest pants; he could burn them once they got home.

"So, buckle your seatbelt, dummy." Puck said with a gentle laugh. "You're smart, Hummel. You know that with me behind the wheel that melon of yours is in danger of being squished."

Kurt's little mouth fell opened in protest and he reached a hand to feel his head before moving and clicking the buckle in place.

"Where exactly are we going, Noah?" Kurt began his tone timid with nerves. He hadn't spent much time in cars alone, with boys, and Puck was probably the most dangerous male to lock one's self up with. Puck seemed transfixed by something Kurt had said. His eyes shimmered slightly and he bit his bottom lip gently. He seemed to be considering something but shrugged it off and revved the engine.

"Glee meeting, what else? Now hold onto that pretty little hair of yours because I'm about to rock your world." The older boy laughed before they peeled out of the parking lot. Kurt couldn't help but have fun on the drive to the auditorium. There were a lot of things that Puck wasn't, but fun was not one of them.


	3. Pizzeria Ambush

"Kurt! There you are!" Mercedes' voice overpowered the sounds of the chatter filling the auditorium, and Kurt whirled around to face her.

"'Cedes!" He exclaimed excitedly, his smile returning as he ran over to meet her. They hugged and Mercedes gave Puck the stink eye.

"I hope he didn't give you much trouble, Kurt. We couldn't send anyone else to get you…"

"Oh, it's fine," Kurt brushed the thought away with a wave of his hand and he smiled. "He was a perfect gentleman." Mercedes raised her eyebrows and peered over Kurt shoulder to watch the slumped rocker with narrowed eyes.

"Hmh, I suppose people can surprise you…" She muttered as she grabbed Kurt's wrist and pulled him off to sit in the front of the auditorium with her and Tina.

It didn't take long for Mr. Shue to get everyone's attention and start another classic lecture. He was talking about Nationals, which should have been exciting for Kurt, and should have held his interest, but he couldn't help but think about Blaine, and what he was doing.

After what seemed like forever, the club meeting ended, and the group was going to head to get pizza, but once more Kurt couldn't keep his mind off of his boyfriend. It was unusual for him to have a lot of homework; Blaine's teachers loved him, and he always got good grades. He was never given extra homework.

Once at the restaurant Kurt made a B-line for a table and plopped down on uncomfortable pleather seat. He scooted in towards the wall, moving for Brittany to slide in beside him. Mercedes smiled and walked over with a box of pizza.

The mood at the pizza place was jubilant, and crazy just like every other glee meeting, but Kurt didn't feel as if he belonged. He missed Dalton. He missed the Warblers. But most importantly he missed Blaine. Kurt sighed and let his head drop to the table with a dull thud. He made a quiet noise of pain but didn't move after that. Mercedes raised an eyebrow at Brittany and motioned Rachel and Tina over. Mercedes bit her lip and mouthed, "Boy-troubles?" With a questioning look. The girls all gathered around, and put on their best sympathy faces. Mercedes nodded and started out gently.

"Kurt… is something wrong?" She reached out and placed a hand on his arm with a soothing motion. Kurt let out a long, steady breath, which Mercedes couldn't help but think was a little over the top, but she let it slide.

"It's Blaine…" He started, not even bothering to lift his head from its position smushed into the sticky table. Mercedes looked at the girls sympathetically and made a sad face.

"What? Did he hurt you? Did he touch you? Did he not take no for an answer? Because ill cut him." Finn's voice torn through the silence as he popped up out of nowhere and slipped into the booth beside Kurt with surprising speed and accuracy. "I _will_ cut him…" He repeated intensely and quietly, as if a determined vow had just been made to himself in front of witnesses. All of the girls gulped and looked down at their pizza, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.

Kurt slowly lifted his head and tried to shove Finn away by putting his palm over the older boy's face and pushing half-heartedly.

"Mhhphfff…" He said, which could only be interpreted, because it made no logical sense to anyone at the table.

"Baby, what is it then? If he didn't do any of…" Mercedes paused to glance at Finn who was quietly listing ways that he could "do away with" the Warbler they had all grown to know and love. "…_those_ things…" She finished careful not to set Finn off on a loud tirade once more.

"Wait...who did things to Kurt?" Sam's voice chipped in as he pushed between Mercedes and Rachel to get into the conversation.

"Someone hurt Kurt?" Artie echoed as he rolled over towards the table. Rachel yelped as Artie's wheels rolled over her foot in his haste to find out all of the details. She glowered down at him and lifted her foot gingerly to rub the tire marks out of her sock.

"ILL BREAK HIS FACE!" Puck bellowed slamming a fist down on the table, completely announcing his presence. The whole table jumped back and stared down at their hands. Kurt felt entirely exposed as everyone's attention was now on him. The entire restaurant was looking over at their table now, and glaring at the perpetrator for breaking their silent, peaceful dinner.

Mike slipped in besides Tina and snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her close. "Who did what now?" He asked quietly, trying to get caught up after his absence while playing DDR with Lauren and Santana. Tina smiled and quickly caught her videogame-obsessed boyfriend up with the rest of the team.

"Whoa, woah, whoa, let me get this straight…" Kurt started, pulling his face from the confines of his pity party and furrowing his brow at the group that had converged on him. "You're all freaking out… and all I said was his name…" Finn glowered and said

"I hate that name…"

"Yeah me too, man." Puck added. "It's all… Blai.." He scowled, "Then… ne.. Its just a weird name…" The group nodded in unison, all happy to have a common cause to band them together.

"You know we should do something about the fact that he hurt you…" Sam added biting his perfectly sculpted lip and looking down at the table for inspiration.

"God!" Kurt exclaimed slapping his palms down on the cheap table that shook from the force. "Would you all just leave him alone? He didn't hurt me. I'm sad because I miss him. So I actually want to see him more, not less." He snapped, his cheeks red from frustration, and the embarrassment that he just attacked his friends in a public place. The room was silent as Kurt begged someone to say something, or laugh at the fact that Kurt had tried to be intimidating, but no one did that, instead the door swiveled opened in the front and someone new joined their party.

"Kurt!" The familiar tone sent waves of relief and joy throughout his entire body; Kurt would know that voice anywhere.

"Blaine!" He exclaimed whirling around to catch the eye of the man who had captured his heart from the moment they met. "You're out!" Kurt added, his heart feeling as light as a feather, and threatening to float out through his chest.

"Yeah I have been for a while…" He winked at the innocent boy, who took a moment to get the joke before blushing and nodding slowly.

"Yeah, that's not exactly what I meant, Blaine…"

"I know."

"Why must you embarrass me in front of my friends?" Kurt questioned a smile toying with the corners of his lips, and his eyes glimmering from sheer adoration. Blaine flashed a classic smile and sent Kurt's heart for a whirl again. He found he had a difficult time thinking and making proper sentences whenever Blaine was around, which was a problem… because whenever Blaine was around, others usually were as well. It was your classic public humiliation.

"I… that's… cool." Kurt added, he wasn't sure why he felt the need, but he didn't like the way Blaine was staring at him, well, actually, he liked it too much, and he was afraid of what would transpire if the sexual creature he was dating wasn't distracted. Blaine furrowed his brow and a perplexed smile occupied his strong features.

"Yeah, I guess. SO, you ready to get out of here?" Blaine asked offering his hand to help the poor, trapped teen escape from the mass of bodies that had surrounded him.

"NOT so fast, Mr…" Before Blaine knew what was happening he was surrounding by Finn, Sam, Puck, Artie, and Mike (who had to be dragged up to the circle by Puck). Blaine had never felt so small and helpless as he did surrounded by shockingly tall people (well, except for Artie, but it was still scary, because he couldn't hit a disabled person, so it was a catch 22).

Blaine instantly put his hands up in front of him, feeling his defense mechanisms kicking in as second nature.

"Hey, I was just trying to take him out for dinner, like I had promised him earlier." The Warbler explained biting his lip anxiously. Kurt was to his feet and ready to go to war in an instant. The boys didn't know what he knew. Sure, they were trying to help, but they were going about it in the wrong way. They didn't know what Blaine had been beaten for being gay multiple times. They couldn't understand what it was like to be him, and they were only making things worse. Kurt didn't want this. He just wanted a normal Friday night out with his boyfriend, but somehow this had turned into a soap opera, and he only felt things spiraling out of his hands.

"Finn. Stop this right now. I don't like it. Its not helping and I want you to go…" Kurt tried his best to be intimidating, but his words fell on deaf ears. Blaine was being strong at least. He wasn't fighting back, but he wasn't crumbling either, he was simply not engaging them.

"Wait….I'm confused" Brittany's voice drifted through the chaos of testosterone and calmed the nerves for a brief moment. "Aren't you supposed to be doing a ton of homework…" Blaine and Kurt's brows furrowed at the same time. Blaine looked at Kurt as if to say, did you tell them? To which, Kurt shook his head and turned to the clueless blonde.

"What do you mean…?"

"Well, we made sure that you had plenty of homework… how did you finish it all?"

"Oh god…" The group seemed to say in unison as Finn and Puck covered their faces, bracing themselves for the inevitable explosion.

Kurt slowly swiveled around to face his brother wore winced, as if he could tell the boy was now looking at him.

"...You didn't. Tell me you didn't do it, Finn…" The football player bit his lip and slowly pulled his face out of his palms to accept his fate.

"I did it to protect you…" He winced as the words slipped past his tongue and out where he couldn't take them back. Kurt pursed his lips and his eyes narrowed like laser beams. He almost looked happy, but Finn would compare it more to someone who was crazy, and had snapped and was smiling, but with blood lust behind their eyes; Finn shivered.

"I would thank you all to stay out of my personal life…" He voiced, his tone sounding too happy for the words he was speaking. Even Blaine seemed concerned as he forced his own fake smile and stepped up besides his date.

"Let's get going babe…" He whispered gingerly. The smaller boy nodded and followed the Warbler out the door. It was rather anticlimactic if one was being honest, but the night didn't end there. In fact, it was only getting started.


	4. KHPA Emergency Meeting

"Okay, we need a game plan…" Finn started, pulling a chain over and slipping it between his legs to straddle the sturdy oak. He leaned his arms down on the back of the chair and rested his chin on them. He bit his lip and strained to think with all his might; the Kurt Hummel Protection Agency had really gotten themselves into a conundrum this time.

Kurt knew that something was up, but more importantly he knew that they were manipulating Blaine's schedule, keeping the two boys apart. They had really screwed up, and they had Brittany to thank for that.

The other members gathered around the large table in the Hummel living room and took their places. The tallest member of the club waited until everyone was settled and looking towards the front of the room before standing once more and taking his place at the head of the table.

"Alright. So this is probably the worst situation that could possible happen…not only is Kurt out with our number 1 threat, but Blaine skipped a meeting!" Finn thrust his fist down against the table just as Burt was walking in with a bag of popcorn and a cold beer.

"Yeah, that's why he isn't here, Finn… because he's out with Kurt…" Burt furrowed his brow and readjusted his classic worn-out baseball cap that he wore proudly. He cleared his throat and said,

"Hey, Finn…" He started, looking around the room with a perplexed smile. "Um, what's going on here? Is it a glee thing?" He looked around once more before shaking his head. "Wait, it can't be glee, Kurt isn't here….Wait… where is Kurt. Did you just say someone was out with him?" He set down his beer can and pulled over a chair his expression suddenly serious and all traces of his previous easy-going nature erased.

Finn nodded fervently and jumped to his feet. The team watched him skid out of the room and disappear, the sound of his loud footsteps echoed as he walked above them in his room. Burt looked around at the remaining glee kids; he was confused, but desperate for information about Kurt, so he decided to stay a bit longer.

"So…is this that club that Finn was petitioning me to join?" Burt worded as he leaned back and cracked opened his beer which had started to perspire and dripped down onto the table. Puck licked his lips and sighed; this whole Blaine ordeal was cutting into his Friday night plans; get drunk, watch the hot lesbian neighbors go at it through his bedroom window, and pass out sometime after 2 am. He stretched and tried to tune back into the conversation.

"Yes!" Finn exclaimed "This is it, but it's not a club…" He added as he walked back into the room with what looked like poster board held close to his side by his arm. "It's an agency…"

"Yeah!" Sam piped in, his wide smile spreading and taking over a majority of his face. "Were like spies… or special agents… like the matrix." He nodded and leaned back in his chair, trying his best to look cool. He was about to start an impersonation, but Quinn had gotten pretty good at telling when he was about to, and cut him off before he had the chance.

"I would just like to state that I never wanted to be a part of this club." She voiced, her bitter, cold tone snapping through the fantasy that Sam had created, and bringing him back to reality. He shrugged his shoulders and pretended to straighten an invisible tie, as if wearing the spy suit that he had envisioned. Quinn couldn't help but let a small smile slip. She rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through the blonde's silky head of hair, ruffling it and leaving it as messy as it was after he performed with glee.

"Dork" She mouthed as she leaned her head down on his strong shoulders, settling into his warmth. Sam sighed contently and smoothed her hair, brushing a strand out of her face and tucking it behind her ear.

"Ahem." Finn cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at the blond singer. "All eyes up here." He was busying him with the charts he had brought down from upstairs.

"Alright, Burt." The oldest man looked up and gave Finn his classic parental look of mild interest.

"Yes, Finn?" The tall teen took his opportunity and approached the boards he had placed on stands. He somehow pulled a pointer out of nowhere and beamed proudly.

"If you'll turn your attention to the boards, you'll see the hierarchy of the agency." He pointed to the chart with the names and lines that resembled a family tree. He directed his pointer to the top of the list, which showed his own name along with Burt's. "We, you and I," He pointed at Burt, "are the patriarchs of the agency, and the other members fall into place as such…" He smiled, proud of himself and his presentation so-far. "Mercedes is the general, and then there is the next level where Sam, Artie, Mike, and Puck all fall in as lieutenants."

"Hey." Puck interrupted, perking up and smacking the table slightly to get attention. "Don't forget my girl, Zizes."

"Oh, right, Lauren is a lieutenant badass… so she's in there too…" Finn bit his lip, slightly off course after the interruption. "Anyway…" He ran a hand through his hair slowly and looked back at his chart, "Well you can see the rest…"

"Yes, Finn. I have acquired the ability to read, somewhere down the line, but thank you." Finn nodded slowly at Burt's words, unsure if the sarcasm was well intended; he shrugged it off and smiled earnestly.

"Indeed." He replied. "So…are you going to join?"

"Join what?" Burt asked, smiling slightly as he faked a look of confusion.

"The agency…" Finn replied his smiled slowly slipped off his face, leaving his dopey features unoccupied.

"Oh, right." He said with a laugh. He straightened and fixed his hat, his expression suddenly serious. He leaned forward and put his arms on the table, looking each and every one of the members in the eyes. "I can't believe that Kurt has this many people looking out for him… it really makes me feel better about the fact that he isn't alone…and although I don't love the fact that you are practically stalking him, I do appreciate the fact that you all have his back…" He trailed off, emotion welling up in his eyes as he paused to compose himself. It almost looked as if he was about to cry, and the whole table felt a renewed sense of why they were all doing this. Kurt had been through too much not to have people protecting him. Finn knew that he always would. They were brothers now and he would never let Kurt feel threatened, or scared, or alone. Finn looked back up as Burt as he continued.

"I would be honored to join this club."

"Agency…" Finn corrected quietly as he set his pointer down on the table with a subtle clink.

"Okay, Finn. Agency. I would love to join the agency." Finn's eyes lit up and he pulled out a manila folder, he riffled through stacks off papers and slid a couple stapled pieces out onto the table.

"Perfect." He voiced in a hushed tone as he sat down, taking back his seat from Brittany's feet, who had squirmed over from underneath the table. He cast her a dark look and said, "Thin ice, Pierce… very thin… ice…" The bubbly blonde blinked a couple of times and replied with a, "Now I want to go get a snow cone with some penguins…" Finn narrowed his eyes and shook his head slowly.

"Thin…ice" He mouthed once more before turning to Burt, his smile suddenly blazing on his face. "So, where were we?" He chirped. "Oh, that's right." He handed the pamphlets over and said, "This will fill you in on all things related to the Kurt Hummel Protection Agency" Burt furrowed his brow, and his look of disturbance continued to grow more and more intense the further he got to the bottom of the stack.

"How do you know Kurt's schedule… this… accurately? And…zones of his body?" He asked his eyes widening as he looked up from the papers.

"Were dedicated to keeping Kurt safe… no matter what…" Sam piped up, his charming, effortless smile creeping onto his face.

"No one else knew about the zone… body thing, until Finn already had them printed and in our lockers, Mr. H… I swear." Puck felt the need to add, his eyebrows raised and his head shaking slightly.

Burt couldn't help but laugh; there was something pretty endearing about the fact that this many kids had gone through this much trouble, even with all of the other stressors, and responsibilities in their lives, to create this group. Burt could let a little… over enthusiasm, slide in this case.

Burt stood up and let his smile slip back onto his face.

"You know what, kids. I am pretty proud to be a member of the Kurt Hummel Protection cl-" He paused and winked at Finn before finishing with, "agency…" Finn sighed with relief and nodded once.

"Much better." He mouthed at Burt and winked awkwardly with a clumsy thumbs up. Burt shook his head and picked up the beer and popcorn from the table.

"You kids can hold your meetings here whenever you want, and you know what…" He smiled widely and started to head back towards the kitchen. "I'll make us some snacks!" He exclaimed as he disappeared through the door.

The KHPA couldn't help but smile in return; the reveal of the Kurt Hummel Protection Agency had gone much better than any of the members had anticipated, especially with Kurt's dad. They all shared a mutual smile and knew that things would be much easier with Burt on their side; he could easily help them keep tabs on the young fashionista. And the KHPA knew that with everyone in on this, they would never let Kurt down.


	5. The Warblers Join KHPA

"Baby Panda to Coco Puff, I repeat, Baby Panda to Coco Puff…" Finn huffed angrily as the call came out through his walkie-talkie. He bit his lip and looked down with pursed his lips.

"Brittany, I said that we couldn't have code names… they are stupid. And why the hell am I coco puff?" The tall leader asked, furrowing his brow. Brittany giggled and pressed down on the button on her pink, sequined walkie-talkie.

"It suits you." Was all she said. Finn rolled his eyes and slowly stepped out of his mom's old station wagon. He glanced around to make sure the coast was clear before he sidled along the side of the building, carefully making his way to the front door of the restaurant where Kurt and Blaine were having their date.

If it hadn't been for the Warblers, the KHPA wouldn't even have known where to find their young flower. Finn was starting to like those uniformed songbirds, especially since they had showed interest in protecting Kurt's innocence (it was surprising. One would think that the Dalton boys would be on Blaine's side, which in this case would be to get him laid. He was the male in the relationship, after all, but it seemed as if everyone liked Kurt in his current state of naivety).

Finn shuddered at the thought and narrowed his eyes. Just thinking about Blaine trying to do anything to his newly acquired brother made his veins chill with ice and his fists clench in anger. There wasn't much the tall, well-built football player wouldn't do to protect the young singer, and he was pretty sure his entire group would agree with that as well.

Finn inhaled a deep calming breath and glanced down at the walkie-talkie in his hands. He rolled his eyes when Brittany's voice boomed out of the tiny speakers once more. He shook his head and clicked the lever to the off position before stuffing the device deep into the backpack he wore on his left shoulder.

"Enough…" he muttered before running a shaky hand through his hair. He wasn't so sure this incognito mission was to work with people like the blonde cheerleader on his team, but he didn't really have a choice. He'd much rather have her in his sights and know what she was up to then to leave her at home with a multitude of devices to screw things up at her fingertips.

Finn set his sights for the back entrance to the restaurant; thankfully by widening their friend base and making the Warblers honorary members, they found out that Thad's father owned the place where Blaine and Kurt were now eating. Finn couldn't have dreamed for a better scenario. He smirked as he slipped through the kitchen where multiple members of the KHPA were adding the finishing touches to their new uniforms and picking up their props.

"Hey Finn!" The boy, Finn had recently learned was named Thad, called out, rushing past the kitchen staff, and skidding to a stop in front of the football player. "Hey!" He added, a smile tearing at the corners of his lips, as if he was a small child who wanted to jump around, but was told by a parent to be calm.

"Um, yeah, hey Thad. What's up."

"Everything is in place, sir!" Thad stood suddenly erect, as if in a line before a drill master. His hand stiffened and he saluted the older boy. "We are ready for the mission!" There was a sparkle in the young boy's eye that made his face light up.

"Shh keep it down." Finn warned narrowing his eyes. The kid nodded once and lowered his head, but Finn could still see a smile toying with his features. Finn shook his head and rolled his eyes before brushing past and heading for the swinging doors that led to the dining room.

"Ooh! Wait Finn!" Thad chased after him, arms swinging around wildly as if desperate for the older boy's attention. The football player inhaled a deep breath and slowly swiveled around before dropping his head to the left and giving his best exasperated look.

"Yes?" He hissed as he dropped his hands to his hips.

"Y-you forgot your disguise" The younger boy stuttered pressing a small bag towards the other boy. Finn's expression slipped away and his eyes widened.

"Damn, I guess you're right. Thanks tiny Tim." He voiced as he riffled through the see-through blue tinted bag. Thad furrowed his brow and cocked his head in confusion at the donning of his new nickname, but let it slide as he watched Finn pull his new look out of the bag.

"This… is my disguise?" He asked incredulously as he moved and stuck a fake mustache on his upper lip with distain. Thad's brilliant smile slipped off his face and his opened his mouth to speak, but Finn cut him off. "I look amazing!" He exclaimed as he quickly grabbed for a silver serving platter and gazed at the reflection staring back at him. "No one will ever suspect it's me!" There was a naive gleam to Finn's eyes that Thad shared as he nodded fervently, the joy streaming back into his demeanor.

"Exactly what I was going for!" Thad added patting the older, much taller boy on the back. Finn glanced down at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Please don't touch me"

"Oh, yes. Right. Sorry" Thad removed his appendage and folded his hands in his lap awkwardly.

"Let's do this" Finn clenched a fist and threw it up into the air; his go-to move for a pregame ritual. Thad nodded fervently, his head bobbling like a tiny Chihuahua on a dashboard, miming the older boy's movement with his own tiny, clenched fist.

Finn glanced down and couldn't help but smile and shook his head before moving and ruffling his fingers through the smaller boy's soft brunette strands of hair.

"Yes, let's do this." Finn repeated before smirking and setting his sights on the entrance to the den where his brother's innocence was the prey of the beast they called Blaine Anderson.


	6. Incognito

"You look amazing, baby…" Blaine's voice like satin spread around Kurt, and lulled him into a relaxed state. He smiled weakly as his heart fluttered.

"Thanks…" Was all he managed to say, but it was enough; Blaine knew he had said the right thing. It was a goal of his to make Kurt feel special about himself; it's what he deserved, more than anyone, in fact.

The Dalton boy winked before leaning forward across the table, bringing his body so close to Kurt's that the younger boy felt his body begin to throb with desire. It was as if Blaine was magnetized, and Kurt's body needed to be closer to him to serve its proper purpose.

"Blaine…" He faltered as he felt strong fingers lace their way through his own delicate ones, which were sweaty and shaky from his nerves. He shuddered and fought the urge to pull away to save the dapper boy from his clammy hands.

"Shh…" The older boy warned as he gently pressed his soft, tender lips against his love's flawless, porcelain cheek.

"Ahem!" Someone cleared their throat to get the two boy lovebirds attention, and when they didn't pull apart, the person repeated, "Ahem" even louder. Blaine sighed and pulled back from his perfect view, turning to catch a glimpse of their waiter.

"Yes?" He asked, mood on edge from the interruption, and ready to snap as he let his eyes travel up the enormously tall body and catch sight of the man's face. Blaine's eyes widened and he bit down on his lip hard in shock. "Oh, god…" He added in an undertone.

There standing before them was none other than Finn, it was painfully obvious, even with his ridiculous vending machine mustache plastered to his face. Kurt gasped and dropped his forehead to rest on the tips of his fingers. He slowly traced the menu decals with his free hand and focused on anything but his step-brother.

Blaine glanced over at his date sympathetically and then tore his eyes away, forcing himself to, once more, look at the football player.

"Welcome to this restaurant!" Finn announced kindly, his smile over-the-top and covered in smarm.

"Is… that the name of this place?" Blaine sassed, his eyebrows raised.

"Hmh?" Finn asked, his voice suddenly higher, nerves springing forth as he was faced with a question he didn't expect to be asked.

"Is that the name of this restaurant? "this restaurant" Blaine repeated, slower this time, and obviously emphasizing, as if he thought Finn was stupid. Finn clenched his fists and furrowed his brow, but erased the aggression from his face when he saw the Warbler's flash with recognition.

"Um, no. no its not... that's not the name."

"Then… what is the name?"

"Um, silly, don't you know that… why else would you come to this restaurant?" Finn felt little beads of perspiration welling up on his forehead, and he glanced over his shoulder trying to catch sight of a sign bearing the name of this eatery.

"No, were new to town." Blaine cheeked, his eyes shimmering with an air of mischievousness that Finn did not appreciate.

"That's a lie." Finn muttered as he shifted in his place and glanced over at Kurt, who was still refusing to look up from the menu.

"Hmh, what was that?" Blaine asked, cupping his ear, "I didn't quite catch that one."

"I… said…" Finn stammered, pausing for the time he needed to come up with something that he could pass off to Blaine. He looked down at the menu and then back up, "Were called Appetizers." He said the line, before even letting his brain process that the menu was simply listing the appetizers, not actually called appetizers.

Blaine chocked on the sip of water he had just taken and set down the cup.

"What?" He asked, wishing for nothing more than to hear Finn repeat that last line. Fin narrowed his eyes at the curly-headed demon that sat before him and he pulled out a rag from his back pocket.

"Here, sir, allow me." He patted the dirty rag across the warbler's sweater roughly making sure to make more of a mess, than do any real good. Blaine pressed himself back against the chair, eager to get away.

"No, really, I'm fine. That really isn't necessary." He added his eyes wide as he stared across the table at his date, silently begging for help.

"No, no the pleasure is all mine. It's my job." Finn smirked as he smeared the rag across Blaine face. "You've got a little on your face" He explained as he swiped the rag over the boy's sculpted lips. "There. I got it." He finished with a wide, crooked grin.

"Thank you…." Blaine whispered, his voice failing him as he bit his lip and furrowed his brows.

"Can we just order, please?" Kurt finally spoke, his voice quiet and dangerous. He was obviously not in the mood for this kind of tom-foolery, as he had made quite clear at the pizzeria.

Finn nodded pleasantly and said, "So, what'll it be then?" He pulled out the note pad that had been placed in the waist band of his apron, and scribbled a little note to himself about Blaine being even more problematic than they had previously anticipated.

Kurt sighed and recited their menu selection with perfect accuracy, earning him a soft and affectionate smile from the man who sat across from him.

"How did you know that's what I was going to order?" He asked bemused, a twinkle shimmering through his hazel eyes. The younger boy brushed the thought away with a wave of his hand, his own eyes dancing with the love he had acquired ever since meeting Blaine Anderson.

"Don't be silly. You order the same thing every single time, no matter what restaurant we go to, Blaine." Kurt bit his lip slowly and found himself falling deeper into those hazel eyes that he had become so accustomed to. He didn't care much about this restaurant, whatever the name may be, or the fact that his step-brother was the biggest dumb-ass on the entire planet, all that mattered right now was the boy who sat before him, cocking his head in amusement at Kurt's powers of observation.

"Wow." Blaine worded, his tongue slowly tracing the outside of his bottom lip, his gaze glued to the porcelain creature whose foot was slowly inching its way up his leg.

"Okay! New rule!" The "waiter" suddenly exclaimed as his fists slapped down onto the tabletop resounding with a dull thud. Neither star-crossed lover moved, or even bothered to glance at the eldest male, but that didn't stop Finn from complaining.

"No touching!" He added hastily. "That's the new rule."

"That doesn't make any sense, Finn." Kurt hissed in an undertone out the side of his mouth, his gaze never leaving Blaine's.

"I'm not Finn. I'm…" The giant paused, his mind suddenly went fuzzy and he couldn't think of any names besides Spiderman, but he didn't think that would be convincing enough to fool Kurt, maybe Blaine, but not Kurt.

"Salutations!" A new voice chirped, and Finn glanced down, completely abashed. It was the tiny boy from before, thought Finn, but what was his name? Chad? Theo? Well, it was something like that. He too was wearing a fake mustache, which made his face look even younger in comparison to the old hairball on his upper lip. He looked like a child who had a caterpillar crawling across his face. Finn noticed that he also had a matching soul patch, and sideburns. He was suddenly jealous.

"Came just in time, I see." Thad whispered in an undertone up at his partner in crime, who had to bend slightly, as inconspicuously as he could manage, which was an obvious fail.

Blaine's mouth hung ajar and Kurt could have sworn his left eye was twitching.

"Wha-" He started before Thad cut him off. He held out an arm with a fancy looking white rag draped across it; he very much looked the part of a fancy waiter, if he hadn't been wearing the ridiculous face accessory, that is.

"Hello, greetings and good wishes. My name is Clarence de moyee, and this is Theodore, but you may call him Ted, if you wish, it does seem to suit him more, if I do say so myself, but that is all gravy. What matters is your satisfaction. So, how can I serve you today?" Blaine shook his head, bewildered. It was almost as if he had taken LCD mixed it with some cannabis and then washed it all down with some scotch. That is how he would describe it when asked at a later venture. He had maniacs for friends, that's all there was to it.

"We…"

"Ah, yes, I see that you have already ordered, I'm sorry for the delay then!" Thad exclaimed as he snatched the notepad from the grip of the tall waiter and shoved it in his pocket "I'll get this taken care of right away, in the mean time, please _do_ try to not touch." Kurt's mouth fell opened, and now the pair of them looked like a bunch of suffocating fish.

"Excuse me? What? Because were gay?"

"Ah, no. We are very gay-friendly in this establishment, but as my friend, Jed."

"I thought it was Ted." Blaine interrupted, as he twirled a lock of hair around his index finger absentmindedly, trying to stare at anything but the two idiots that he called friends.

"Um, correct. But Jed is his nickname."

"Isn't Ted a nickname for Theodore? Jed seems like a pretty silly nick name…"

"You're right Kurt; it does seem like a silly nickname, seeing as it's the exact name, except with a different first letter…almost as if someone…forgot…" Blaine's gaze flickered up and he stared at the short, mustachioed man, who squeaked and dropped his own gaze under the scrutiny of his vocal idol. "What their name was." The lead Warbler finished as he slid his name across the table to take his boyfriends once more.

"Um, as I was saying…" Thad started, completely side-stepping the entire awkward pile that he had just verbally "stepped in". "Ted was correct when he told you there was a no touching rule in this establishment. It's an abstinence restaurant."

"You've got to be shiti-"

"Also, it's a no swearing at your waiters restaurant."

"Okay, now you're just making stuff up." Blaine snapped as his gaze travelled between the two dunderheads who were standing before them.

"We don't lie here, it's also a no lying restur-"

"Yeah, thanks. I think I get it, Clarence." Blaine breathed as he clenched his jaw slightly and turned his gaze back upon Kurt, who looked more concerned by this worrisome display, than angry. It was almost as if his anger had bubbled up and he was now accepting his fate. Blaine was glad that Kurt had gotten through that stage of grieving, but unfortunately Blaine was stuck on anger.

"So, our order…" Kurt started, but was cut off by Thad jumping to attention and pulling Finn back through the door they had both come through.

"Well, that was weird…"

"Unlike anything I have ever experienced"


	7. David's Reality Check

"We are awesome!" Thad exploded once the door that led to the kitchen swung closed. He jumped up and through his tiny fist into the air with a look of enthusiasm plastered onto his features as if he was a Stepford wife. Finn nodded with a laugh and shrugged his shoulders happily, secretly quite pleased with himself.

"Um, I'm not so sure that went as well as you think it did…" A new voice floated over towards them, causing them both to turn to find its source. It was another Warbler that Finn didn't know, but knew he had seen before. That was the one drawback to working with the Dalton boys; he had no idea who any of them were.

"Oh! Hi!" Thad ran over to him and went to throw his arms around him and hug him, but was stopped when the boy's palm collided with the exuberant youth's face, halting him from continuing. It was rather amusing to Finn, it looked like a cartoon, where the one character is holding the other back and the legs are just running along as if nothing was stopping him.

"Awwwww, C'mon David! Just. One. hug!" He emphasized every word as he reached and struggled against the strong grip of the older singer.

"No, Thad." David grunted as he forced the boy back even further. "Stop that." He added as he moved quickly and sent the boy crashing forward from his built up momentum. He collided into a stack of freshly washed dishes and sent them crashing down. Everyone in the kitchen winced and Finn rushed over to help up his fallen comrade.

"You okay?" He asked as he pulled the smaller boy to his feet. Thad laughed weakly and brushed a few shards of glass off of his arm with a small sigh. He shrugged and said "Its alright… but dad wont be very happy about that…" He squeaked as he glanced up at the picture of his father that hung above the door; it showed a small man with a serious demeanor. Finn couldn't help but noticed that Thad didn't look much like his father besides the stature, so he figured he must take after his mom.

"So, what is this about you thinking that didn't go well?" Finn remembered, and spoke as he turned to look at the Warbler who was peeking out the window that servers were attempting to slip food through.

"Well, Blaine isn't an idiot, and I can only assume Kurt isn't either."

"Hey! What's that suppose to mean?" Finn was suddenly defensive for his young brother, and he hadn't thought to check the Warblers and make sure all of them were Team Kurt before agreeing to let them in on the operation.

"Nothing" David brushed the thought away with a wave of his hand and continued to peer through the window. Finn carefully joined him by his side and watched as well.

As much as he distrusted Blaine Anderson, Finn couldn't argue the fact that he made Kurt happy, and once you got down to it, that was the most important thing in the world. Kurt's hands were across the table once more and the two were talking in low whispers. Finn could tell by the look on Kurt's face that Blaine was saying something sweet and heartwarming. Blaine's eyes were shimmering, and no one could deny that he was crazy about the youngest Hummel.

"So… what do you think we should do then, Mr. Smarty Pants!" Thad chirped as he struggled and forced himself between the two much larger boys, to take his rightful place at the window.

"Well" He started then stopped. His face crinkled and he pushed Thad back roughly. "If you would stop forcing your way in then I would let you look." He reprimanded as he moved out of the way and took his place besides Wes who had just walked in carrying his gavel.

"So what did I miss?" The eldest boy cheeked as Thad scrambled and quickly stole his place at the window, making sure that no other Warbler took it in his absence.

"Um, not much, Wes." David voiced as his smile softened and he bit his lip gently. Finn wasn't a genius, but he could tell there was something going on there. "You just missed these two acting like complete idiots." Wes merely laughed and shook his head.

"Ahh, its endearing, Dave. Don't worry so much." David furrowed his brow and opened his mouth to retort, but decided against it and shut it once more.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Wes." The Warbler nodded and said,

"Of course I am, now if you'll excuse me, I have a date that I'm late for, and if I'm not mistaken, I have a perfect view of our two targets, so that'll be good."

David's face fell and he quickly tried to hide his disappointment, to no avail. Finn bit his lip and shuffled his feet awkwardly; he knew exactly how it felt to be in that position… liking someone you couldn't have because they were already taken. He knew it wasn't a fun feeling to get, especially in front of other people.

Wes bowed gently at the waist and bid them goodbye before slipping through the door and disappearing from sight. Thad timidly walked towards David and attempted to place a hand on his shoulder in comfort; he couldn't reach, so he settled on patting his back gently.

"It'll be okay, David…"

"Its fine, Thad. Leave it." He moved suddenly and rushed out through the back door that led outside. The two remaining boys shared a glance before shrugging and heading back into the dining room with the salads that had been sitting on the carryout window for a couple minutes. They needed to keep an eye on Kurt and Blaine, and it was Appetizer time.


	8. Puck: Geek Chic?

"SO!" How has your visit been so far?" A new waiter was asking Kurt and Blaine when Thad and Finn walked up; It was Jeff and he had a blonde, dreadlocked wig on that made him look surprisingly indie and urban. Even with his impressive disguise, Blaine and Kurt stared blankly at him, as if they knew it was him. Finn cursed under his breath; he was finally starting to think that maybe David had been right in his assessment of the situation. He had to be strong though, he had to be a good leader, especially for the happy-go-lucky boy who was standing beside with him a massive grin plastered on his face once more. No matter how bad this night went, Finn would play along, if not for his team, then for Thad.

"So, here are your salads." Finn interrupted Jeff's consultation with a weak '_sorry'_ smile. Jeff shrugged and doubled back to join Nick who was washing the counter in the front of the house.

"Thanks." Kurt said as he tore his eyes from Finn's hideous face fur, and allowed his gaze to bore into the salad plate that was handed to him.

"Yeah, thanks Jed." Blaine cheeked, his characteristic grin displayed evidently, as he openly mocked the two boys. Finn clenched his fists and stole a peek at Thad, who seemed completely unfazed. He was still smiling and offering Kurt some parmesan cheese.

"Enjoy!" Thad chirped before he smiled up at Finn and motioned for them to head back towards the kitchen. The giant nodded once and then glanced over his shoulder to view the front of the house. There was a clock hanging above the greeter's desk, and Finn sighed in relief when he saw it was nearly 7:15. The rest of the KHPA should be filling in for their dinner reservations any minute now, and Finn knew that they needed all the back up that they could get at this point. He nodded at Puck who strolled in with Zizes on his arm. It was hard to disguise these two, what with their patented looks, but somehow they had managed.

Puck wore glasses and a beanie; his outfit looked very geek chic, and Finn had no idea who had helped him pick it out but it worked. He had a sweater vest over a button up, and slacks that seemed far too nice to be owned by the punk that was his best friend. His date didn't look too bad either; she had her hair down, and in loose curls that framed his face gently, softening her regular intimidating demeanor. She had a very preppy look to her and Finn smiled; the two of them looked great. He was starting to think that maybe, just maybe this would work after all.

The two of them were seated at a booth a couple of tables over from Kurt and Blaine, but they seemed to make it work, and Finn knew he didn't need to worry about the two of them.

Thad pulled at Finn's button up shirt gently and the older boy finally looked down and gave his attention.

"Hmh?" He asked absentmindedly.

"We should get back in the kitchen… you're just standing there staring…" He whispered as he glanced around at the other guests that were watching the two of them standing as if they were statues. Finn snapped out of his daze and nodded.

"Right, well I think I'll go reprieve Nick of his job, and ill go be the greeter…"

"But… you're the waiter… with me." The small boy voiced quietly, his mood seeming to decline suddenly.

"Yeah, well we don't need two waiters, it's not normal anyways." Finn wasn't paying attention to the Warbler, or else he would have felt horrible. The smile that he usually wore confidently had vanished and he shrugged weakly, suddenly understanding exactly how David had felt moments before.

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" He added, but Finn wasn't listening anymore; he was already headed towards the front of the house, leaving a very quiet and crushed Warbler in his wake.

"Right, Thad. Looks like you're gonna have to go this one alone." He told himself, trying to be stronger than he knew he actually was. Truth be told, he had a massive crush on Kurt's brother. He had known this from the first time he met him, but it had only been growing stronger, and now he felt helpless to his feelings, and he knew it was only a matter of time before his heart was broken. This moment felt like a nod in that direction, but he was too stubborn to let it be over yet. Sure he had wanted to help with the Kurt thing, but Thad had really only agreed so that he could spend time with Finn, and he wasn't about the let that slip away from him. He nodded once and clenched his fist in affirmation to his plan. This was not simply a mission for the young Warbler… no, this was a double mission. Mission: make Finn Hudson fall in love with him.

Thad laughed quietly. He knew that he was determined, and he had a feeling he was going to win in the end… even if it didn't look like it right now.


	9. The Calvary Arrives

"Hello and Welcome!" Finn announced loudly, apparently thinking this was the way most greeters behaved. He was mistaken.

Sam forced a smile and furrowed his brows nervously.

"Hey, Finn… you alright?" Quinn sighed and shot a look at her escort.

"Sam, it doesn't do any good to ask questions that you know the answer to." She narrowed her eyes at the football player who stood behind the greeter's stand, and then cast a look back at the blonde who had his arm around her waist. "He's never been okay, and he never will." Her tone was as cold as ice and although she looked amazing in her slinky evening gown, she was not looking very beautiful on the inside.

"That's not true." A voice sliced through the forming silence and jolted Finn. He glanced down to see a serious looking Thad sliding into place besides the Giant singer. "He's more normal than you'll ever be, because he cares about people… an ability I can see you're lacking." Quinn looked taken aback and she furrowed her brows. She clenched her fingers and her nails dug into Sam's arm. He widened his eyes and bit his lip hard.

"Let's go sit." He choked out, trying his best not to curse at the pain that was building with every passing second that Quinn was angry. She didn't say anything, but started moving towards their seat, her pressure loosening with every passing second. She shot a death glare over her shoulder towards Finn's small defender, but he looked completely unfazed.

Finn smiled and bit his lip. "Thad…" He whispered. He felt something inside his chest that was warm, and felt nice, but he brushed it off as heartburn. "What are you doing here? I thought you were waiting on the targets…" Not that Finn minded.

"David is covering it; he said he could do it better anyways." Finn glanced over after hearing this and saw a middle-aged, overweight woman setting down the plates at the table.

"Holy Shit! That's amazing! How did he do that! He doesn't even look like himself…" Finn bemused, completely startled by the pleasant surprise.

"Hmh?" Thad asked, turning to see what Finn was so happy about. He laughed quietly and shook his head. "Finn! That's one of the actual waiters…" He pointed at a man with a massive afro and clothes that looked as if that had been stolen from a bad 60's costume shop. The man walked as if listening to music, and had a ridiculous smirk plastered on his face. He kept pointing at people and calling them 'groovy' and 'cool cats'. Even Thad thought it was pathetic.

Finn laughed loudly and his knees buckled and he steadying himself on the stand.

"God, that's rich. He looks like such an ass…" Thad nodded and shared in the smiling, his hands folded in his lap.

"A total douche." Thad added as he blinked away happily, making himself look even more adorable. Finn glanced up at him and he gulped. His laughter died suddenly and he straightened.

"Yeah, so…" He couched quietly and shuffled over to the side of the stand awkwardly. "Yeah, there's enough room for you here…totally." Thad smiled in appreciation and ducked below the stand. Finn could hear him fiddling with something and right as he was about to look, Thad stood up and Finn laughed. Thad had pulled out a footstool, and he was now actually able to look over the stand.

"Looks like you've been here before." He said with a bemused smile.

"Yeah, this is usually my job, that's why the stool is here." He seemed to blush slightly, and looked away; his temperature rose rapidly and he bit his lip. He couldn't understand how Finn did the things he did without even trying, or knowing what he was doing. "Dad says it's the only job I can't mess up." Thad said with an insincere laugh, obviously trying to hide the pain that a statement like that caused him. "I'm friendly, and people like that in a greeter…so this is my job."

"Well, I think… you'd do any job really well… you've got…um…what's that word…" Finn furrowed his brow, and the creases in his forehead seemed to dance as he searched for the word that eluded him.

"Overly enthusiastic?" Thad tried with a shrug.

"Charisma!" Finn practically shouted as he jumped up, proud that he had figured out such a big word all by himself. That's the one!" He smiled and nodded once. "You have charisma and… well, I really like it. So, don't be so down on yourself…" He added the last part in a whisper, and his eyes seemed to sparkle slightly.

"Yeah, okay…" Thad's voice was equally quiet and they both stayed like this for a couple of minutes before Rachel Berry's loud voice boomed through the silence, shattering the sweet moment that Finn was having with the Warbler.

"FIIIIIINNNNNN!" She bellowed as she burst through the front door and rushed up to the stand. "You probably can't even tell it's me! Look! I'm Blonde!" Finn's eyes widened and he glanced down at the small girl who was standing before him. She was right, she didn't look much like herself, but Finn wasn't so sure that was a good thing. She practically looked like a Quinn Fabray clone, and it was rather off-putting. She had on an outfit that Finn was pretty sure he remembered quinn wearing, not that he remembered outfits very well, but he remembered they were making out when she was wearing it, and it was really hard for him to try to get his hands under that shirt. He shivered and looked back at Rachel.

"Um, wow, Rach. Yeah. You do look different. There's no way Kurt will be able to tell it's you." She smiled brightly and rushed around the side of the stand to throw her arms around Finn and give him the best hug she could manage; she couldn't fit her arms all the way around him, but she did her best.

Thad narrowed his eyes and sidestepped the girl who was doing exactly what he wished he could be doing; how he envied her.


	10. The Dapper Debacle

**Okay! Here is an update, sorry it took so long. Just ask my sister, who inspired this story, I am horrible at keeping on track. Ive started about 5 other stories since starting this one…sigh. But anyways! Here is the next installment. Comments are much appreciated, I'm really nervous about this story! Haha I hope I don't offend anyone by my portrayals of the characters. As I said before, im new here, haha, so comments are always helpful and inspire me to keep this one up. Haha. AS always, I don't own glee, or it would be crazy… as you can tell. Ahah. **

"You know, I seriously feel like I've taken crack, this must be what it feels like to be high." Kurt's voice was an octave higher than normal, and he was constantly fixing his bangs; Blaine could tell he was anxious, and irritated by the situation that his step-brother had set up, but if he was honest with himself, Blaine completely understood the motivation. It was his main goal to keep the young Hummel safe. He completely understood the drive that Finn was working with. So, it didn't bother him as much as it bothered Kurt.

"Please tell me I'm seeing things…" Kurt's voice cracked, and Blaine turned around in his seat to catch view what had startled his date.

"Oh, god." He breathed.

"Please tell me I'm seeing things."

"You already said that." Both boys jumped when the voice informed them from the side of their table. Neither boy needed to look to know to whom the voice belonged, but Kurt dared to glance despite the nagging feeling he had that it was a bad idea.

"Puck…" He breathed murder, but the shark merely smirked and raised a brow.

"Well, I have a cover story, so you should call me Jared… but we both know this charade wont fool you Kurt." There was richness in his voice that was like silk, or a fine wine. Blaine didn't like this guy. He didn't like him one bit.

Puck grabbed the back of a chair with one hand and slipped it under him, straddling it and sitting backwards. He rested an elbow on the table, blocking Blaine from Kurt's sights and placing him between the two lovers.

"So, how are things going?" He asked, raising his brows and looking intent for a moment, before it passed. He was just smoozing, classic Puck.

"Um, excuse me?" Blaine scoffed tapping the Sexual shark on the shoulder, his irritation bubbling to the surface.

"Yes, Noah." Kurt picked up on the tambour of his boyfriend's voice, instantly knowing things were headed south. "You do realize I'm on a date here, don't you?"

"I do."

"Perfect, then you should also know that I don't have time for you right now." Kurt was trying to be polite, but Blaine could also tell that his boyfriend liked the attention he was receiving from this… Noah fellow.

"You always have time for the Puckerman." Kurt rolled his eyes at this comment, but there was a smiling twitching at the corners of his perfectly supple lips.

"Kurt. Hello." Blaine waved a hand over the top of the oaf that was flirting with his Kurt, desperate to get his attention back.

"What? Hmh?" Kurt blushed and ran his fingers through his feathered bangs, which fell directly back into place, looking perfect, as always. "Oh, right. Sorry." He apologized, but kept his eyes glued to the table, making absolutely sure not to look up at the creature that was waggling his eyebrows at the youngest glee member.

"So, I'm here to take you back with us." Puck informed Kurt, who was still gazing at the table.

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes, it is." _They're doing it again…_ Blaine thought bitterly. _Can't he go ten seconds without flirting? _

"Well, you can inform your leader that I am doing no such thing." The young tenor laughed and there was a sparkle in his eyes that seemed to fan the flame that was fueling Puck.

"Well, I think you'll have to reconsider."

"Okay, you know what. This is a little much, don't you think?" Blaine was on his feet, standing beside the intruder, his fingers grasping a fistful of the soft fabric of Puck's shirt.

"Get your hands off me." Puck's tone was suddenly fire, gone was the jovial, flirtatious edge that had been weaving its way through his words.

"Oh? And what will you do?" Blaine's voice feigned unwavering strength, but Kurt heard the quiver that was hidden just below the surface, too far for anyone who didn't know the dapper singer to perceive.

"I've done more to people, who have done much less than you're about to."

"Is that supposed to be some sort of riddle?" Blaine scoffed, his brows furrowed darkly, and arms crossed his chest.

"You know what? I really _am_ going to break your face." Puck lunged up, his hands clenched in fists.

"No! Stop it right now!" Kurt's voice shook, and he wasn't nearly as strong as he wanted to be, but he clung onto Noah desperately trying to pull him back and impede the fight before it started.

"I don't want to hurt you Kurt, so I'm gonna have to ask you to back the hell up off me." Puck whispered, his tone acid and cutting at the same time.

"Please?" Kurt begged, his eyes shining from unshed tears. Puck didn't answer, but his actions didn't leave any question as to what his words would have been. He moved quickly, rushing forward to get at Blaine before Kurt could pull him back, but his body collided with a solid force. Puck glanced up and saw Finn standing there pulling off his mustache.

"How dare you." His deep chocolate eyes showed hurt and disappointment, and oddly enough Puck squirmed slightly and dropped his fists, which now hung by his side useless; Puck may be a badass, but he was sick of hurting his best friend.

"Sorry, Finn." He started but the giant cut him off,

"No, I'm sorry. Sorry I trusted you with such an important job. I should have known you would mess things up with violence." Finn glanced down at his brother, who was trembling slightly, and holding his left arm with his right hand, crossing his chest; obviously feeling vulnerable and shaken up by what could have happened. "Kurt, I'm sorry. It went too far."

"You think?" He asked quietly, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Finn was so conflicted; it seemed like every time he tried to protect his brother, he only made him cry, which was exactly what he was trying to avoid. He just wanted to make sure he wasn't hurt by anyone, but Finn was beginning to think his name should be number one on the list of people on the agency's hitlist, since he caused his brother more pain than Blaine ever had.

"Come on, Kurt, let's go." Blaine's voice shook Finn out of his epiphany and he opened his mouth to speak, but the look on Kurt's face told him he should stay silent. Kurt rushed over to his boyfriend, who drew him into a tight, protective hug. Finn wanted to apologize again, or do something to show that he didn't want to hurt Kurt, but nothing seemed right in that moment as he watched the young tenor disappear through the door.

Finn needed to do some thinking before taking the next step; unfortunately, thinking wasn't one of his strong suits, especially when in terms of thinking _ahead_.

**So, whaddaya think? Foreshadowing….oohhhhhhhhhh, argh, I'm such a derp. haha**


	11. A New Plan

**A new chapter I posted faster than normal, but only because I was blackmailed. Haha. Anyways, its short, but it's a transition scene an all Thanks sooooo much for your comments and reviews :D it is truly appreciated! It inspires me to keep going! So, thanks again **

"Alright, so things clearly didn't go as planned." Finn started as he walked up and down the lines his subordinates had formed. He was chewing on his bottom lip and had a distant look in his eye. "There has to be a reason we keep failing…" he thought out loud, mostly to himself, but allowing the others to hear it to get their minds working alongside his.

"So, what are we going to do then?" Santana asked half-heartedly as she glanced down at her nails, which she was filing absentmindedly. She flipped her shiny, ebony hair over her shoulder and slouched down in her chair; the only reason she had agreed to be in this stupid club was because Brittany thought it was "fun!", and Santana couldn't help but give into the bubbly blonde.

"Well, that's what we have to figure out, now isn't it, Santana." Finn rebuttled, his eyes narrowing, and his fists clenching tightly.

"Well, disguises didn't work" Artie offered, honestly trying to help.

"Yes, I think that's safe to say." Wes cheeked, elbowing David in the ribs playfully, earning himself a glare from the older boy.

"What? My disguise was flawless, he had no idea it was me. It was those two numbskulls." He pointed between Thad and Finn, both of whom were holding their mustaches in shame.

"Well, it might have worked…" Thad offered quietly, shrugging his shoulders and chewing at his bottom lip anxiously.

"Yeah, if we had gotten them drunk out of their minds." Puck interjected harshly; Finn shot a glance his way, which shut the rebel's mouth instantly, and he put his hands up as if to say, _sorry_, before looking back down at his hands.

"So… if we fail… when were seen." Sam started, his tongue stuck between his lips and out the corner of his mouth as he thought, "Then… all we have to do is make sure were not seen." He finished, a smile pulling at the corners of his supple lips, and lighting his face up brightly.

Quinn raised her brows and said, "Wait? Like surveillance? Like… stalking?" Her tone sounded incredulous.

"Well, I was thinking more like… um… more like… a stakeout." Sam corrected, nodding slightly, his eyes lighting up with the prospect of living out a real-life spy story, despite his date's unenthusiastic response.

"I have eyeliner!" Brittany chirped. The agency slowly swiveled around in their chairs and turned to glance at the blonde, who, up until this point, had remained silent. Santana shrugged and cocked her head, turning in her seat to look sideways at her friend.

"And… what are we supposed to do with that information?" She asked warily, not sure if she wanted to know the answer to the question she had asked.

"Here." Brittany pulled her bag up into her lap, and started rummaging around inside, searching the contents for her promised eyeliner. "Aha!" she echoed, pulling a black stick out and holding it up to the light to examine it.

"Right, that's fine and dandy, Brittany, but how is that suppose to help us?" Finn spoke back up, taking control of his meeting once more. He moved, rising to his feet and weaving through the sea of tables that were scattered around the restaurant haphazardly. He stopped short in front of the cheerleader and raised an eyebrow at her, obviously not liking his chances of getting a good explanation.

"Here, it's easier if I just show you." She motioned for the giant boy to duck and come closer, which he did, hesitantly. She made quick work of uncapping the makeup and smearing thick lines across his left cheek, then his right. "There!" She exclaimed jumping up, startling the group who were all watching her some bemused, some bored, but most apathetic. "The perfect look for a stakeout!" She added as she held up a mirror for Finn to catch his appearance in. He took it quickly and touched his cheek, keeping his eyes on his reflection.

"Well, if it gets everyone into the spirit of things…" He started, but was cut off by all the girls chirping excitement, and rummaging through their own bags and purses to find more eyeliner.

"This is going to be so much fun, Finn." Rachel exclaimed as she perfected her war paint.

"Um, yeah, sure…" Finn replied quietly. He wasn't sure if this was going to work, but his team seemed excited, although he was starting though think the girls were just in on this to wear outfits, instead of actually caring about Kurt's protection. Last time Finn checked it wasn't called the "Lets-Wear-Pretty-Clothes-Agency".

**There we go Whaddaya think? Also, I'm sorry if there are any Quinn fans out there. I have no idea why she always comes across bitchy when I write… it just happens. Sigh. **


End file.
